29 and feelin fine. (If by fine you mean old)

So I feel old.
At least I feel old for beginning Brazilian Jujitsu. Now I am not claiming to be the oldest guy at the gym, and I KNOW I will have my cohort of over 30 friends telling me to shut it, but the amount of young guys (or kids) I train with is astounding.

I catch myself rationalizing when I watch fighters begin their MMA careers past 35 years old, but quickly realize most of the athletes who started MMA late were NASTY at some other athletic competition in a past life.
Now I was a 2 time (That's right folks 2 time) all-county badminton stud in high school, but that hardly qualifies me as having any type of background for what I am doing now.
But I figure I have a lot of youthful vibes going for me: 

-I spend 6 hours a day with 24-seven year olds
-I rarely act my age
-I still get carded when buying booze
-I still have acne
-For christmas my parents bought me over 20 pro wrestling action figures (To be fair I did not ask for them)
-For christmas my wife bought me 4 WWF pillow wrestlers (ok.... I did ask for them)


I know there is more but let's try and keep some dignity shall we?
While I struggle with coming to grips with the sands of time slipping through the hour glass, I remember why I started this in the first place.
I began training as a way to celebrate a milestone year in my life. My 30th.
There is still a lot I want to accomplish throughout my time, but if I can keep the attitude that it is never to late to learn to read, well I have accomplished something significant now haven't I.
Wait something got lost in translation there... oh well.
Happy Reading,
Steve "Don't get choked out" Mahalic

Progress?

So I have been neglecting my online record of my ninja training again, and I must apologize to my 7 fans out there.
This blog should have been written over a week ago.
It is a very exciting blog and while I have my pessimistic, self doubting theories, I am here to announce my first BJJ milestone.
I am a black belt.
That's right folks a black belt.

But to quote the words of one of Vince Vaughn's best roles to date Jeremy Grey of Wedding Crashers:
"Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip." Just for a second, just to see how it feels."


Yes I received my first black tip on my shiny white belt last week and I must say it was glorious.
On a side note, let me tell you why I am a messed up loser.
My first thoughts about reaching this accomplishment:
"This has to be solely based on the number of times I have come to the gym." 
Immediately followed by,
"I don't deserve this yet."
But even with all my pessimistic fervor, I feel like a million bucks.
Mostly because it was completely unexpected. Now I HATE surprises as much as the next guy. But I  also LOVE pleasant surprises as much as the next guy.
Now I am going to come clean and admit I have no real idea of how my gym ranks belts and promotions.
But I have to state the obvious that this means I am few short weeks away from becoming a killing machine.
Seriously though, this was a real spirit lifter. It was on a night where 13 guys were packed into the gym, and I have to say I was proud of myself. It was a nice reminder that I have made a commitment, and even though it has been a difficult journey I plan on seeing it through.
Below is a picture progression of your favorite killing machine's wifey photo shoot with newly acquired black tip! *Notice the sudden changes in behavior as the photo shoot progresses

Til next time,
Steve

That's what you call a first tip!   Looky Looky First Tip Everyone!   OK, enough already.... Enough pictures Woman!!!!

  

ARRRRHHHHH!(Sweet tip)

I suck at finishing (that's what she said)

"Does Steve Mahalic have to choke a bitch?"
Cause if so, he's screwed....

It's a Wednesday night and it iced and rained pretty bad Tuesday, so I am confident it will be a small class tonight. When I pull up to the gym and can't find parking I realize, I was wrong.
13 guys tonight crammed into a pretty small place can make for a frustrating night if you let it, and if you and your training partner don't gel well. I try and stay positive and I pair up with Charlie a familiar face. Charlie is yet another of the endless young guns at this gym. He is a few inches taller than I am, he doesn't say much, but I like training with him and he is comparable in size to me.
(This is key, because usually at the end of class, you will roll with your partner for at least a little while, and who wants to roll with a guy with 50 extra lbs of muscle? Yeah, yeah I remember the pep talk about "It will make me have better technique, but right now I just want to get through the basics without getting hurt by having a giant fall on me wrong)

First move of the night: Single leg take down defense

We learn a move while standing which is pretty new to me and very exciting to me.

Kinda like this.

What is way more exciting is the move is similar to a monkey flip like in Pro Wrestling.
Move set up:
While your opponent goes for your leg, you reach over his back and grab his belt, you then grab under his arm pit with your free arm hop forward with your free leg and basically sit down. When you sit he falls onto your legs and you kick him off to the side so you can get side control or mount. It is very judo-esk and I like it, and I am picking it up pretty quickly.
Tonight's Sensei are Billy and Matt. Both are awesome to work with, and are really committed to making us better. This is a quality I find in each Sensei I have trained with thus far, and it is totally refreshing and inspiring. They really want you to get the move and get better, which in turn makes you want to get it that much more.

Part two of the move:
So if you have been keeping up with my blog, you will see a trend in training routine. In simplest terms this is how class is broken down. Learn position, learn a way to finish from position, roll.
I am pretty good at the first part of class. I can get through all the mechanics of getting into a dominant position. And the third part of class I know I will get better with in time.

The part that I struggle mightily with at the present is the second part: Finishing an opponent. 

Mr. Brady would definitely be better at a Gi choke than me presently.

Whether it be by choke or by arm bar, or by wedgie I am bad at finishing. I think this is partly due to the fact I have no experience in trying to choke a person or break their arm. It is also that the finish is the part of the move that is the hardest to instruct. Everything could look right to the trainers but if I am not putting the pressure in the right place the submission is ineffective. And for the life of me I can not  (for lack of a better or more eloquent term) figure out how to choke a bitch (a la Wayne Brady).
Tonight's choke is one of dozens of variations of a Gi choke (We actually learn two variations tonight).

When you are attempting a Gi choke you usually are grabbing a part of their lapel close to their neck, and then grabbing something (anything else really) that completes the choke on the other side of the neck.

As usual I get everything down except for the most important part, the choke. Sensei Billy comes over to instruct, and shows me how easy it really is supposed to be.  His chokes were effortless. I don't mean effortless as in he makes them look easy, and they are smooth. I literally mean EFFORTLESS. He looks like he is relaxing on the couch, but with everything in position he puts the slightest pressure on his choke and his training partner is tapping out faster than Samuel Morse (weak simile, I know). 
Luckily, like I said earlier my trainers are their to make me better. Eventually I get the choke down. When it works, I must admit, it's awesome.
It will always intrigue me how much body positioning is crucial in pulling off submissions. Getting the move almost right is great, but if every limb has to be in a spot for a reason. Jujitsu is a very meticulous art in this sense. In a way it's like anything else but magnified. Let me explain, in golf you if you keep your head down, follow through the swing, keep  your elbow in blah blah blah, and follow all these rules you will hit a good shot, forget one thing, you can still hit a good shot just not as good. When building a table if your measurements are off a touch, your table will still be a table, just not a perfect table.
In jujitsu it's a little different, everything can look right, and the move could LOOK like it will work, but if something is off (especially as a beginner) the submission or the sweep or the pass, or whatEVER you are trying to do won't work.
I would like to tell you when I finally got it, I had a light bulb moment. And to be perfectly honest, in the moment it felt like thatsensation. The sensation that you get when it all comes together,
That ohhhhhhhhhh, ok moment.
So I did have THAT feeling, which was cool, but I can not say it was a lightbulb moment, because even though I got it that time with Billy watching and assisting, I KNOW it a match I would not get it locked up. But that is what practice is for, and I am slowly learning this process takes time.
As much as you know it going in, and tell yourself that fact constantly, when you are doing it you WANT so BADLY for it to come faster than it inevitably does.

So with that being said my friends, I look forward to writing you more about when things actually DO all come together.
The good news is I can feel myself getting better. I am  learning a lot. Wish me luck on being able to choke a bitch a la Mr. Brady (or anyone else for that matter).
Till next time,
Steve


P.S. My wife is at a baby shower so this post has been SELF edited. That basically means it is probably riddled with typos, so back off.